- Chuck Norris is Justin Verlander's grandfather.
- Achilles didn't die by getting shot in the heel by Paris. It was a 100 MPH Verlander fastball that killed him.
- Brad Penny dated Karina Smirnoff, but Justin Verlander plowed through Kate Upton.
- Justin Verlander once got bit by a rattle snake...... After three days of pain and agony...... The rattle snake died.
- When Justin Verlander does a push-up, he isn't lifting himself. He's pushing the earth down.
- When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Justin Verlander and his heater.
- The reason why Chicago's called "The Windy City" is because Justin Verlander sneezed there.
- Justin Verlander is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
- Justin Verlander delivered Tim Tebow.
- Justin Verlander once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That gas tank's now known as Optimus Prime.
- Justin Verlander is the reason why Lebron traveled.
- While Chuck Norris can rotate the earth fast with a roundhouse kick to a person, Justin Verlander's fastball can create galaxies and universes.
- The only things that will survive a nuclear war are cockroaches, Dick Cheney and Justin Verlander. Cheney would later be killed by a 101 MPH Verlander heater.
- Justin Verlander once lit a fart on a dare. The result was the Great Chicago Fire of 1871.
- Jesus drinks Miller Lite. Justin Verlander drinks a dozen Red Bulls.
- Justin Verlander can win a game of chess using only one pawn and a breaking ball.
- Earthquakes occur when even the ground trembles every time Justin Verlander's around.
- Justin Verlander murdered the kid who invented the 69 joke with a 100-MPH fastball in the top of the 9th. Why? Because only Verlander knew the kid's deep dark secret...
- Seal Team 6 didn't kill Osama Bin Laden. Bin Laden was killed and no-hit by Verlander's heater to win the game for the Tigers..... And America.
- Justin Verlander's tears can take rust off of ships.
- Justin Verlander doesn't care for the "MarineLayer".
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Justin Verlander Facts
I'm bored out of my mind. So here are some Justin Verlander Facts. You might've known these things about JV: